Category Archives: Blog

HOW I SECURED AIRLINE DISTRIBUTION FOR MY FILM

I’m sure I’m not alone when it comes to figuring out the next step for my film as an indie filmmaker. When it was done on the film festival circuit, I questioned… What’s next?

In 2015, I started the process of directing and producing my first film, a documentary short titled I AM MORE THAN MY HAIR. It includes interviews with women who have experienced hair loss (alopecia) and their journey of self-improvement to see their beauty beyond the media’s standards.

It took me almost 5 years to complete. I gave myself a deadline, and once I was done with the first cut, I held my first premiere at the AFI Theatre in October 2019.

In March 2020, I was finally done with the final cut and continued promoting it for publicity. I was able to secure several news and radio interviews. Just as I began receiving film festival acceptance/decline notifications, the pandemic hit.

Thankfully, I made it to my film’s first accepted film festival in Sarasota, FL, despite the travel warnings and prior to the shutdown. All festivals I AM MORE THAN MY HAIR was accepted in after that were virtual, excluding a select few in 2022.

Typically, films have a 1-year run, but due to the pandemic, the rules changed for some time. And although it did great on the circuit, I was left unsure of my next step. When reaching out to more established filmmakers for feedback, the consensus was that unless it’s a Hollywood film, shorts don’t get distribution.

Then I remembered… wait a minute (my actual thought)… I’ve seen shorts while flying!

I did a Google search for “airline film distribution companies,” and Walla!

That simple search directed me to a blog post that shared several airline film distribution companies. Give thanks for informative bloggers. The article I read saved me a lot of time.

I researched each company, found their contact information (that took the most time), and reached out to each rep individually. The fourth company rep I emailed expressed interest and replied with her cell phone number to reach her. I wasted no time and called her immediately. She did reiterate what I kept hearing: “It’s tough to secure airline distribution for a short film”, but she loved my work and said she would do her best. Just a few days later, the rep followed up with hopeful news and connected me with the decision-maker, who in turn said yes.

In 2022, I was granted a 6-month distribution deal with Air Canada. They intentionally started it in March for Women’s History Month. In all honesty, the pay was small. And as much as I understand that money is needed to live comfortably, that was not my aim. Impact has always been my goal, from the very beginning and at the core of my being. It’s not that I would turn down a big check because I’d gladly accept it, but it wasn’t the deciding factor for the work I create.

I currently don’t have any set plans or distribution deals set in stone, but I have leveraged I AM MORE THAN MY HAIR as a platform to bring awareness not only to my work but also to alopecia and women’s health. It has also broadened my platform as a public speaker. Speaking engagements and Q and A’s have allowed me the opportunity to personally connect with my audience and engage in meaningful conversations, which was my goal from the get-go.

In the end, I have not struck a big-time distribution deal, but the impact has been significant enough for me. I look forward to expanding my work as a director and DP and continuing meaningful conversations.

Oh, before I forget… here’s the list of the airline distribution companies I found in my research:

  • Terry Steiner International
  • Cinesky Pictures
  • Captive Entertainment
  • Jaguar Distribution Corp
  • Encore Inflight
  • Entertainment in Motion (EIM)
  • Penny Black Media
  • Gate 23 Entertainment

Did you find creative ways of securing distribution? Share in a comment below or send me a message.

Your Family & Friends Are Not Your Audience

Thirteen years ago, I started a new business venture into the world of Multi-Level Marketing. Three years later, I realized that MLM is not for me but I was grateful for the valuable lessons learned as an Independent Rep.

My first homework assignment was to read Your First Year In Network Marketing (anyone in MLM knows this book). It really prepared me for the world of business that I knew nothing about. The first being…

Your family and friends are not your audience.

It’s been years since I read the book so I’m explaining in paraphrase, but the author made it very clear that you will most likely…

  1. Get ignored by friends and family
  2. Not taken seriously by friends and family
  3. Lose a friend in the process

Although it was a tough reality (they really did ignore my calls) the lessons learned has been extremely helpful in my businesses after MLM. I realized…

My biggest supporters are people I don’t know.

That thought used to upset me, but I developed a good grasp at basking myself in the positive, mutual energy and support that comes from a total stranger. As crazy as it sounds, I used to play tug of war in my mind and block my blessings because I had an expectation of what support should look like –Friends and family. Now…

I welcome the village I’ve always asked for. It’s a beautiful revelation.

I must say, one of my biggest takeaways as an MLM, is the ability to be fearless (cold calls will do that to you). To cut to the chase and not care that your loved ones may not support your vision. If they aren’t living their dream how can they encompass the power of yours?

Hopefully this blog can enlighten the person it was intended for. For those who have the support, you’re blessed.

With 1 day left…

I reflect on the beautiful moments and girls/women that I met on my expedition with I Am More Than My Hair. I am so very grateful for the opportunity to grow in genuine friendship with many of the women. It’s a humbling experience to know that everyone trusted me, a complete stranger to most, to share their stories.

With 1 day left for my campaign on iFundWomen and 75% left to raise $6K, I have made peace with the fact that I will most likely not reach my funding goal. And presumably this means; it is time for me to retire my project and move on.

Black girl let's go of a balloon. She looks up at it.

What does this mean?  I will see I Am More Than My Hair film into completion, as far as I can possibly reach. First focusing on the expenses related to accessibly (for blind and deaf audiences) and possibly the sound mixing and color correction. I’m simply not able to submit I Am More Than My Hair to certain film festivals without a professionally completed final cut.

On the bright side, once it’s complete in the film festival circuit (November 2020) I will make it available online. I’m not sure of the platform as yet but I promise I’ll figure it out. Once I do, you’ll be the first to know.

This has been a 6 year journey. It is not a sad moment. In fact, for the community of supporters, we’ve won. It has been a challenging yet beautiful journey. And the gems gained… priceless.

As I wind down on, I Am More Than My Hair, I’m off working on another project. I am forever grateful for the people who supported me and believed in my projects along the years. You are appreciated.

Remember… for those interested, you can always make a tax-deductible donation via my fiscal sponsor Women in Film & Video.

My Trip To California

Alyscia Cunningham's lecture at Saint Mary's College of CaliforniaI returned from the Bay Area after a visit to and lecture at Saint Mary’s College of California (in Moraga). Typically, when I travel for speaking engagements I stay at a nearby hotel. This time around, I was offered the opportunity to stay at the visitor’s residence on campus. I couldn’t have asked for a better communal experience.

Not only had staying on campus given me the option for convenience but it also provided me the time to connect with the students and staff of Saint Mary’s, beyond what may have been possible if I stayed at a local hotel.

Alyscia Cunningham's lecture at Saint Mary's College of CaliforniaTwo weeks have passed since my visit and the positive energy and heartfelt moments continue to replay in my memories and bring a warm feeling to my soul. I have to say it was my most monumental lecture thus far. And I’ve had quite a few.

Alyscia Cunningham's lecture at Saint Mary's College of California

I was surrounded around a beautiful campus on California’s gorgeous landscape and good hearted people. It was a intimate group and setting with genuine discussion, feedback and consideration for one another. For me, that’s the best ingredients for a successful event. Also, have I ever mentioned I LOVE California?

Alyscia Cunningham's lecture at Saint Mary's College of California

Over two years ago, Sharon Sobotta, Director of the Center for Women & Gender Equity, and I connected about the possibility of a speaking engagement at the Center. Although it took some time, Sharon made sure this event came to life.

Alyscia Cunningham and Sharon Sobotta
Alyscia Cunningham and Sharon Sobotta at the Center for Women & Gender Equity at Saint Mary’s College of California.

Directly after my talk, Sihin Tsegay, Gender Justice Leader at the Center for Women and Gender Justice, organized a meet & greet with the Black Student Union at the Center for Women & Gender Equity. We had a deeper discussion about personal and professional experiences and challenges faced as someone of color. I couldn’t have ended the day on a more profound note.

Alyscia Cunningham's lecture at Saint Mary's College of California
Meet & Greet with BSU, Gender Justice Leaders, and allies in the CWGE.

I am truly appreciative for this experience and connection with like mindedness. That for me is priceless.

Have you heard of Great Shoals Winery in Takoma Park, MD?

Alyscia Cunningham at Great Shoals Winery in Takoma Park, MD

Two days after my returning (I’m noticing a recurrence with the number 2), Great Shoals Winery in Takoma Park, MD hosted a book signing for I Am More Than My Hair. If you’re in the area and looking for a local winery with a cool vibe, visit Great Shoals. It used to be located at Heyser Farm in Silver Spring, MD (the farm where I often purchase eggs). Although I enjoyed wine tasting at the farm as chickens roamed around (I’m a city girl but I love the country), it’s nice to have space dedicated to wine… and cheese.

If you’re buying wine, don’t forget to look for local options.

Alyscia Cunningham at Great Shoals Winery in Takoma Park, MD
Thanks to Habibah, fellow GirlTrekker, my brother, and neighbors, for stopping by and supporting.

Alyscia Cunningham at Great Shoals Winery in Takoma Park, MD
Inside Great Shoals Takoma Park.

 

I Have A Rough-Cut!

Well, I thought I had a rough-cut before, but I had to go back to the drawing board. To make a long story short, my previous rough-cut wasn’t received very well SO… I am grateful to connect with another Film Editor… A WOMAN! A female Motion Graphics Editor is also on my team. Talk about excited!!!

That’s exactly what I originally envisioned! If not an all female film crew, at the least, I wanted to collaborate with other women.

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Thanks to my small but amazingly mighty team, Editor Daniela Ettrich and Motion Graphics Artist Tiffany Lewis.

Last Saturday, February 23rd, I held a private screening of the rough-cut version of my documentary I Am More Than My Hair. I invited other filmmakers with the request that they provide me with feedback for my fine-cut (the final version of my film). Thanks to the support of filmmakers from Creative Edge Collaborative, Brown Girls Doc Mafia and Women In Film and Video DC (WIFV), the feedback received was a tremendous help.

Much thanks to Melissa J. Houghton, Executive Director of WIFV, for taking the time to advise me on the hows and where to hold a screening, during my desperate attempt to figure it out. My local public library worked out just fine. Who would have known?

My next cut will be the fine-cut. Wooohooo! That’s after the next few edited cuts. It’s a process but we’re headed in the right direction.

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” ~Oprah Winfrey

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I am forever grateful for these talented filmmakers!

If you’d like to support the next stage of my film, feel free to make a tax-deductible donation via my Fiscal Sponsor, Docs In Progress. I appreciate your support!

Tax-deductible donation - I Am More Than My Hair

 

Appreciate the Journey

You know what I’ve grown to appreciate? My trials and tribulations have not only given me the ability to vigorously pace through life, but it has also built me to be undeniably resilient.

Please know that…

When I share the challenges I face on my journey, I am not looking for sympathy.

Instead, I am opening myself and being transparent about the ups and downs that comes with life. Professionally and personally.

People sometimes assume that rewards and accomplishments come easy. Thanks to social media, people can conveniently post about their achievements yet omit the adversities faced in order to get to that level of attainment.

It takes hard work, time, dedication and positive thinking to make things happen.

Furthermore, as a woman of color, married to man of color, with children who look like us and have unfortunately faced hardships related to race, I have no choice but to stand strong. Not only for myself, but also for my family.

With that…

I am undoubtedly able to handle what may crumble the World of someone unlike me.

Would I like for the people of the world to be different? Without doubt. But I am truly grateful that my hardships have strengthen me.

Regardless, anything worth bringing into existence doesn’t come easy, but it’s definitely worth the feeling of success and fulfillment once you stick to it. And in the process, you have the opportunity to know WHO IS and WHO ISN’T for you. Shedding layers and people is a good thing.

On your journey…

You may be redirected, take some time off to breath and reevaluate your steps, or may completely switch paths, but always pick yourself up and keep going.

And remember…

Don’t be afraid to share your quest. It is uniquely yours to hold and carry. It is my hope that sharing the transparency of my journey can be beneficial to someone else on the path to accomplishing a dream or goal.

My gift to you…

Rather than adding to the piles of Holiday emails you’ll receive next week, I send my greetings to you now. I wish you all that you wish for yourself… PLUS all that you need at this moment to appreciate your journey.

Enjoy the Holidays!

PS…

If you’re in the spirit of giving, please consider making a tax-deductible donation, via my Fiscal Sponsor Docs In Progress, to help me finish my film.  Visit the website for more info and to support. Feel free to also follow my blog tour with Goddess Fish Promos.

Happy Holidays graphic

 

Transparency

This past Sunday, I attended Fresh Talk: MakeHer Summit, a panel discussion about Women in the Creative Economy, at the National Museum of Women In the Arts. The four creative entrepreneurs on the panel, Rakia Reynolds, Dionna Dorsey, Virginia Arrisueno and Grace Bonney, spoke candidly about entrepreneurship, the beauty and challenges that come with it and the importance of…

Transparency. 

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People often assume your success was an easy road if you never shared your challenges. I’m not sure if it’s the Pisces in me, but being up front about my feelings and experiences is a release. Whether it’s in a conversation, blog or article…

It feels good to let it go.

I’ve always been upfront about my ups and downs as a woman of color, an artist and entrepreneur. My struggles with funding to complete projects and good news of successes that come my way. It’s not easy, but I work very hard.

Here are 3 points that stuck with me:

  1. Being an entrepreneur isn’t sexy. You don’t wake up this way. The struggle IS real, and you need to make that real to the world, including social media.
  2. Sometimes success and financial freedom means undoing the narrative you’ve been telling yourself about what success looks like.
  3. Transparency and fearlessness can be powerful and protective. “You don’t owe anyone anything” on social media. Protect yourself + be real. You can do both..

On that note, I must admit…

The one area of my life that I choose not to be transparent with, is my family. It’s a rare occasion to post photos of my husband, children, grandparents (unless I’m referencing old photos), parents, siblings, nieces and nephews…

I’m sure you get the picture.

But I enjoy keeping that part of my life off of social media. And although my mom often shares posts about our mother/daughter connection on Facebook (as many times as I ask her not to), my relationship with her and our daily conversation is so much important to me than engaging on her post :).

Some areas I’m just not willing to compromise.

Although my life, both business and personal, has been full of trials and tribulations, overcoming the challenges has played a vital role in my determination to succeed. Success does not come overnight (whatever success may mean to you) but the thing that always shows and proves is that….

Persistence seals the deal. 

I used to think it was cliche to hear celebrities give speeches and consistently say the same quote when wrapping up on their thanks and appreciation to the audience…

You can create anything you set your mind to.

Well, it’s not as easy as making the statement and expecting what you’ve had in mind to suddenly become a reality. But I know for a fact that setting the intention for your idea will be the beginning of a process that will connect you to those that will lead the way for open doors. It’s the powerful beauty of the Universe.

Honesty and transparency make your vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. ~Mother Teresa

You never know who’s watching and learning from your journey.

My book launch was amazing!

To celebrate the journey (joys and challenges) we celebrated of the release of I Am More Than My Hair, on Sunday September 9th, at the Hyattsville Busboys and Poets.

Rather than the typical author talk, I decided to set the tone for a panel discussion. I gave a brief background on how I came up with the idea for I Am More Than My Hair. Several participants (Janice, Martina, Nicole, Doretha, Jameelah, Shae and Holly) introduced themselves and spoke about their #HAIRstory. Dermatologist Dr. Sharleen St. Surin-Lord clarified the meaning of alopecia and the importance of identifying the root cause.

IAmMoreThanMyHairBookLaunch-58

Jeff Woytovich, Founder of Children’s Alopecia Project (CAP), was gracious enough to travel here (MD) from Pennsylvania and share his organization’s mission and available programs for children.

I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate the release of I Am More Than My Hair . It was so much bigger than a book release. It was a gathering in celebration of the beauty and diversity of girls and women. See The Umbrella Syndicate’s photos on Facebook.

Keep Smiling: Bald Edition Book

 

Ken Rochon, Founder and CEO of The Umbrella Syndicate and creator of the Keep Smiling movement, has captured beautiful images at the Bald, Beautiful and Bold Fashion Show as well as this past Sunday at my book launch. If you missed the opportunity to be included in the Keep Smiling: Bald Edition Book, Ken would love to take your photo at his studio for the book. This is open to women, men and children. If he took your photo and you’re interested in purchasing copies (once finalized and available), please contact Ken at (202) 701-0911.

New Retailer!

Bluestockings Bookstore now carries my book. If you’re in the New York City area please help me maintain a retailer/author relationship by purchasing a copy during your next visit. Bluestockings is located at 172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002.

You can also purchase a copy of I Am More Than My Hair on Amazon or any of these retailers near you:
BookWoman (Austin, TX), Politics and Prose (Washington, DC), Sandy Spring Museum (Ashton, MD), Vroman’s Bookstores (Pasadena, CA), Women’s Museum of California (San Diego, CA).
*10% of sale proceeds will be donated to Children’s Alopecia Project.

Have a bookstore suggestion? Contact me.

Film Fund

If you would like to support and help me finish my film, please consider making a tax-deductible donation via Docs In Progress.

Tax-deductible donation - I Am More Than My Hair

I was interviewed on Fox5 Morning News Good Day DC!Alyscia-Cunningham-Fox5

Thanks for your support!MTMH-launch-sponsors

About Alyscia: Personally, Alyscia is a mom, wife, artist, advocate, writer, Pisces, dreamer, truth seeker, positive thinker, adventurer, traveler, and hiker. Professionally, she’s an entrepreneur, author, speaker, filmmaker and photographer who has contributed  to National Geographic, Discovery Channel, AOL and Smithsonian Institution. She’s also the CEO of a Maryland Home Improvement company, Uprising Builders, LLC, and AC Media, a production and publishing company. To find out more about Alyscia, visit www.Alyscia.com.

Grants for artist of color, about the black experience? I AM the black experience.

It’s no doubt that the grant process is frustrating, especially when most recipients look nothing like me… a woman of color. On the other hand, grants focused on supporting artist of color make it very clear that the “artist” work should encompass the “black experience”.

But I am the black experience.

I am the black experience when I step out into the world and I am judged FIRST based on the color of my skin and not my talents. I am the black experience when I’m constantly in the position of having to fight for my children to be treated equally in a public school institution. I am the black experience when I am in fear and question if my husband will safely return home after a “routine traffic stop”. I am the black experience when I live in a system created against people who look like me.

And my list goes on…

Although I wish the grant process… well life in general, wasn’t biased, it is my unfortunate reality. When I apply, though I do my best and hope for a great outcome, I know that most likely the “look” of the grantees won’t change.

Then on the other end of the spectrum, some of the organizations that fund projects by artist of color has a specific criteria. The topic of focus should include slavery, racial injustice, police brutality, immigration, etc. Is that all the black experience encompasses?

In this case, my work is too black for one… not black enough for the other… and a box I simply can’t fit in.

Does this mean I change the direction of my work? Absolutely not. Although this isn’t the case for all organizations, it is evident that I have to continue working 3 times as hard. But not to worry. I get what I set my mind to. Nonetheless, I do look forward to the day when more opportunities live outside the box. Who knows? I may just start something new… in due time.

You can help me finish my documentary film, I Am More Than My Hair.

Tax-deductible donation - I Am More Than My Hair

 

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Join me as I present my research behind my project, meet the women who participated and take part in a Q&A. Book signing to follow.

Sunday, September 9, 2018
5-7PM

Busboys and Poets
5311 Baltimore Avenue
Hyattsville, MD 20781

There will be an open menu for food and drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic). Tickets are $10. Proceeds from tickets sales will go towards the finishing funds for my film.

To learn more and get get tickets, visit Busboys and Poets or Eventbrite.

 

I’ve been shot at and was setback… Maybe or maybe not.

I’m sure you’re wondering… Maybe?

Reading the first 4 words in this title is unsettling for me, and although I wish it were different, unfortunately it’s true.

On July 17, in the wee hours of the morning, a group of individuals did a drive-by shooting on my home.

I woke up to the sound of bullets shattering through the walls, the sight of sparks as it ricocheted throughout the room and the smell of gunpowder as the bullets exploded. I swore I was dreaming.

Not in Montgomery County, Maryland… or so I thought.

My husband and I are hard workers, both entrepreneurs, and have never been involved in any form of criminal activity and fought our asses off for the past 12 years to maintain our home (renovating it little by little all by ourselves).

So the question we were left with was…

Why?

And…

Who?

Who in the hell would drive-by and shoot up a family’s home and for what reason?!?

Since then I’ve felt different emotions, anger being most prevalent. Although I’ve been frustrated and had moments of fear, tears and prayers, I’ve had to do my best to shake off the worry and prepare myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and most definitely physically.

Thankfully, I planned a trip to California months before and was able to clear my head, take in the beautiful sights and get a change of scene for a few days.

Alyscia takes photos of La Jolla Cove in San Diego, CA

During my visit, I had the opportunity to film Mary Marshall, founder of Bald Mannequin Project and International Alopecia Day Facebook group, as well as a drummer, dancer, and diver among so many other wonderful qualities.

We connected two years ago about my project (I Am More Than My Hair) and I told her I would film her during my next visit to San Diego. At that time, I wasn’t sure when it would happen but the time finally came in July 2017.

During the interview with Mary, she mentioned a moment in her life that she literally had to “fake it to make it”. In her example, she was referring to her concerns while facing alopecia (hair loss). She went on and on with so many powerful statements about her experience and how she conquered her emotions.

Mary didn’t know of the shooting incident.

There I was… in Beautiful San Diego… still worried about what happened back home.

I choose not to tell Mary because I didn’t want to spoil the mood. She also didn’t know that her comments during my interview with her, empowered me and gave me strength.

When I returned to my hotel, I reached out to several of my spiritual communities, rehearsed certain Psalms and chanted for peace of mind.

I needed to get my sanity back.

After returning home, I connected with a priestess in an indigenous spiritual community I am a part of , and spoke with her about the incident. She made a comment that helped to put things into perspective. Her response was…

Haven’t you wanted to move for a while now?“… her question gave me goosebumps. I replied, “Yes, but…”. She responded, “So why are you still here?”

She then went into a discussion about how the Universe, although sometimes harsh, forces movement. Especially if we’ve made it known to the Universe that we’re ready for a particular type of movement in our lives.

In that conversation I had an AHA moment…

No matter how difficult the circumstance, there is a reason for everything and there’s always a bright side. 

theres a reason - oprah - alyscia cunningham

I’ve wanted to leave Maryland the first day I step foot here from Queens, New York back in the 90’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned to love and appreciate where I am but always felt there was something more, something better, a place I truly feel connected and can call home for my family and I.

In 2014 I traveled to San Diego for the first time and feel in love. In my soul, I knew that California was the place for me and my family. I just haven’t figured out exactly where (the city). Though San Diego is beautiful, I know it’s not the place for us. The biggest reason being the lack of diversity.

And today, as I type this blog, I open my email and see the subject “The Universe’s Plan for You” by Madisyn Taylor, one of my favorite writers. A section of the article reads…

Nothing happens without a purpose. Whether we attract success or repel it depends on our willingness to stay open to a wide range of possibilities and to embrace concepts like synchronicity.” ~Madisyn Taylor

I must be honest with you and myself and accept the fact that this situation changed my life. At first, knowing that I was just a few feet away from a bullet, left me in fear of my life. Given that my children didn’t sleep sound for a few weeks because of the constant nightmares, broke my heart.

Afterwards, considering those “few feet” saved our lives, I gained a different perspective and felt grateful.

In that moment of gratitude, The Farmer’s Luck came to mind (a wise tale I’ve read to my children since they were all very young). My afterthought was, although situations may sometimes look like bad luck, it could actually be good luck for a future time.

And in that I also learned, time passes and we often find ourselves “busy”. In our “buziness” we may have missed an opportunity to connect with a friend/family who may need our listening ear or support though a rough time or challenge.

I truly appreciated the small handful of people who were genuinely concerned and kept in touch to make sure my family and I were OK.

And to those who who knew my previous hurdles and considered this event to be another setback, my response is… Maybe… Maybe not.  It could be a blessing in disguise.

As for now, I have some serious work to do in figuring out my next move and having faith and trust in the process.

I took a break to gather my thoughts but I won’t allow an obviously unhappy and miserable person to make me unhappy and miserable. That goes for family, friend or foe.

I’m excited to  finish the filming and photo shoots for I Am More Than My Hair and finally now in the post-production phase. I’ll continue to keep you posted. Until then, please continue to support my fundraising efforts by sharing and contributing via my Fiscal Sponsor, Docs In Progress – https://docsinprogress.nationbuilder.com/hair

In the meantime, enjoy this short clip of my interview with Mary during my visit to California. May the solar eclipse bring positive energy to you and our world.

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Isolated Society – Interrupting the Pattern for the New Year

Do you know your neighbors? Do your children hangout with the neighborhood kids, grandparents, aunties/uncles, cousins and other family members as we did “back in the day”? What about saying a simple hello as you cross paths with a stranger?

If you think about it…

“Back in the day” wasn’t so long ago.

Reflecting 20 years back, I remember it was the norm to play outside with friends and neighbors, spend ample time with family, converse more often in-person and meet someone new with effortless dialogue. Starting as simple as…

“What’s your name?” or “Where are you from?”

These are the times I cherish most. Reminiscing on those days, I can’t help but to appreciate the feeling of togetherness.

Now 25 years later, I can’t say the same.

It’s hard not to notice that people sit side-by-side and are so pre-occupied with their phones, or other tech devices, that they don’t seem to notice one another.20160402_110041.jpg

On April 2, 2016, I attended the Creative Innovation Conference at Light City Baltimore. One thing that really struck me was Debbie Millman’s presentation on the damaging effects of “modern society” on humanity. Millman broke down the high percentage of suicide and depression due to social media, and made it clear that technology has only caused us to become more detached.

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Although I constantly hear about the need for positive change and socialization, I am still seeing signs of excessive stress.

Work hours continue to increase, just as our children’s homework load. Dating sites have now become the most effective method for potential couples to meet because there’s not enough time to actually hang out. We’re spending an excessive amount of energy on hand held devices and not enough in-person encounters. Consequently, suicide rates have increased dramatically, particularly among our youth. At my son’s high school alone there has been 3 suicides in just 3 months.

There’s no way this should be considered the norm.

We are constantly going, like machines, thinking that faster and more is somehow better. And most importantly we are NOT communicating effectively. We’ve forgotten basic means of living with one another and in turn we have become an isolated society.

Don’t get me wrong… online platforms are convenient, but it should never completely replace the need for human connection through face-to-face interaction and conversations.

What will it take for us to once again become a community and decrease our stress levels?

Though I am not big on New Year’s resolutions, I thought it’s the perfect time to share thoughts on ways reconnect. Here are a few simple ideas:

  • Have a no tech rule at dinner time – whether you’re single, married or a parent, taking the time to eat without watching a screen not only opens up time for conversation but also gives you some time to think.
  • Even better spend one day a week without any technology – try not using technology at home for a week. You’ll be surprised how revived you feel.
  • Rekindle a relationship – sometimes we loose touch with loved ones because of a disagreement or misunderstanding. Most times it’s not as serious as we think. Try reaching out and take the time to meet up and chat about it. Hashing out out a differences can go a long way for much needed healing.
  • Take a lunch break – taking a break is vital. You can even schedule a lunch date with a co-worker or friend you haven’t seen in a while. If you’re a parent, and your child’s school is close by, have lunch with your little one.
  • Introduce yourself to your neighbors – don’t know your neighbors? An easy introduction is to go door-to-door and introduce yourself. You can say mention that you’re doing this in order to get to know your neighbors and vice-versa and to look out for one another.
  • Join or launch your neighborhood committee – taking part in your neighborhood committee or launching one if there isn’t one in your neighborhood is a great way to get to know your neighbors. As a community you’ll also have the opportunity to address the issues in your neighborhood.
  • Throw a block party – everyone loves a party! There’s no better way to meet many of your neighbors than at a block party.
  • Organize a family reunion – the younger generation will have the opportunity to connect with their family members. They may become accustomed to the gathering and continue the tradition. Everyone can contribute with food and drink. You can reserve a picnic area at your local park for free.
  • Volunteer at your local school – did you know you don’t have to be a parent to volunteer in a PTA? Our schools can definitely use your help. If you are a parent, you can organize a parent get together from time to time. This may even lessen bullying. If my daughter knows that I speak with her classmate’s mom, she may think twice before doing something naughty.

Happy New Year to you! Let’s re-connect.