After my grandfather transitioned this past June, my grandmother was devastated. She didn’t have to say that she was, because it was evident in her reaction. I saw Mama, my maternal grandmother, cry for the first time in the 41 years that I’ve known her. To see her in pain was foreign to me because she was so strong and had the biggest carefree attitude.
After 69 years of marriage to Grandfather (we actually called him Grandfather) how could she not be basked in pain?
As much as I love Mama, I didn’t truly appreciate her until I was a mother and saw her relationship as a great-grandmother to my children. It was necessary for me to warn them of her ‘hot mouth’ and temperament. For anyone that doesn’t know her or is naturally sensitive, can be easily scorned by her words. She was a product of her environment as a child and once I accepted that (which took years) I grew to love her even more.
Mama transitioned to the spirit world this past Monday December 14, 2020 after losing a week- long battle with COVID-19. Although I wasn’t pleased about how she contracted it, oddly enough I wasn’t sad when she passed. I felt comfort in knowing she joined my Grandfather. She grieved his departure and pleaded to be with him on the other side since June.
She felt so much heart ache immediately after his death that she fell sick and ended up in the hospital. She actually missed his funeral, but was content with it because she did not want to see him bury. Her tending to him during his last few months alive, and seeing her body decline and tire was heartbreaking.
So knowing she’s reunited with him is comforting and I’m grateful to have gained another ancestor.
Thankfully I was able to spend quality time with her and tell how much I appreciated her way before she transitioned and during the last time I was with her on September 28, 2020. We enjoyed roti and curry, cooked by her lovely friend, Ms. Chingie and Grey Goose (for me) and Crown Royal (for her and my mom) mixed with cranberry. And she visited me in my dream the morning she transitioned. She was sarcastic but I know she was telling me her farewell. That’s Mama 😊
Tonight I took a toast for my grandparents. Thank you for the lessons you’ve taught me. The conversations you had with my children during the many years of summer spent with you. Thank you for bailing me out when I needed it (Grandfather understands this one). Thank you for your patience, time, and dedication. Thank you for sticking together and showing true love. As a married woman I understand there’s no way in hell it was easy. Thank you for your resilience. And Mama, thank you for your fearlessness. That’s where my mom gets it from, which is how I got it. Thank you for the jokes and ‘fresh talk’ that got me through tough times. Thank you for being great-parents to my children, nieces, and nephew.
We miss them but how grateful we are to have had them in our lives. During this Holiday season I reflect on them, and cherish the memories. Until we meet again…