As an artist and entrepreneur, I’ve find myself questioning whether or not to pursue certain endeavors. When I first made the decision to leave corporate America in pursuit of my entrepreneurial path, reality kicked in when I first experienced hard times. When the lifestyle I was living based, pretty much based on a consistent paycheck, dissipated.
In the beginning I often had to remind myself why I left and what was most important. My children.
Although entrepreneurial and life challenges has periods of difficulty, I wouldn’t give up the freedom of peace of mind and time spend with my husband and children for anything.
As I continue my journey as a first time filmmaker, I admit that it hasn’t been easy. Not that I’m expecting it to be but I can’t help but notice and feel the challenge of being a woman of color breaking into a new industry, which has been pointed out to me multiple times on multiple levels.
I’ve tried my best not to let the lack of support for my fundraiser and opportunities that seem to not be a “right fit” (yes I’ve been told that), get to me. At times it’s hard. And during these times I’ve thought to myself…
I GIVE UP!
Then it hit me…
I thought about my mom yesterday. She was 25, married with 3 children (2, 4 & 6) and had an aneurysm on the right side of her brain. The aneurysm caused her to have a stroke and left her paralyzed on the left side of her body. She told me she went through periods of “Why me?”, anger and bitterness about her diagnosis. But all I remember about my mom is that paralysis on the left side of her body was never an excuse for her to NOT do anything.
She drove by herself, cooked for her family, went to and from work on the busy streets of Manhattan, NY, and was so determined to keep going, despite her stroke. My mom set the tone for me when it comes to determination.
If she never made an excuse, how can I?
In no way am I comparing my moms illness to the frustration I feel about my art. Instead I am drawing a comparison to the level of difficulty she experienced and what I feel personally about my art.
I have no excuse and giving up is not an option.
Despite the negative comments I’ve received from various women (yes women) about I Am More Than My Hair, there is an entire community of girls and women involved in my project, that are not only counting on me but sincerely believe in the mission of my work. Of OUR work. And if I give up, we lose.
Today gave a speaking engagement and presented my work to young ladies of Albion College (Albion, MI) Women’s and Gender Studies. The positives responses and questions during the discussion about embracing who are are and learning to love ourselves just as we are, was another confirmation that I am on the right path.
In the end, my lesson learned is what will be must be. What is for me shall be. What I am born to create, has no option but to be created. I’m allowing life to takes it’s course. Thank you for taking the time to read.
With just 15 days left for my fundraiser, your support is appreciated. Contribute via Indiegogo – https://igg.me/at/MoreThanMyHair
2 thoughts on “I Give Up”
Bravo.. an excellent post! Your mother sounds like a great person.
Thank you Helen! I know it wasn’t easy and I’ve always felt like to I need help and protect my mother, which I think I should do as a daughter. However she never taught me bitterness. Despite the challenges of her stroke she always stayed positive and did whatever she needed to do. She taught me a great lesson because in my challenges (and I’ve had many) I’ve learned to keep going. Sometimes breaks are needed or the time to step back and analyze and readjust. But I’ve always move forward in thought that it is what it is so make the best of life, challenge it when necessary and move on. It was my mom’s attitude that taught me this and I am forever grateful. Thanks for reading!