My Encounter with Beauty…Reflected Through My Lens

I vividly remember questioning beauty at the age of 10. There weren’t any examples of little brown girls that looked like me on TV, magazines and definitely not on billboards. As I went through the early stages of puberty my body, as well as my mind, went through the transitions.

At the time, and for the first time, I questioned beauty. I wondered if I fit the picture of “pretty. As I was going through these changes an encounter with my aunty lead me to believe I truly wasn’t beautiful. It lead me to doubt my worth.

My aunty looked me directly in my eyes, as my face was full with pimples and discoloration, and said to me with her distinct Trinidadian accent, “You’re getting ugly.” Although my father made it a point to always tell me that I was beautiful, on that day my father’s words had no significance.

I allowed those three words to make me lose sight of loving myself unconditionally. My confidence crumbled in a few seconds.

Eventually, and as I went through adolescence, my father’s positive affirmations became constant reminders of my worth. Then I began to understand what the true meaning of beauty…and I was her.

Once I became a mother I found myself consistently reassuring my child of who they are and made a point to create a space of feeling comfortable in their own skin. I came to the realization that I do this with my children because I didn’t want them to be negatively impacted by outside influences as I was.

I do however recognize that they cannot completely avoid this reality. School and family can be the biggest influence of our own self-perception. Positive or negative.  Regardless, I have faith that with the support of my husband and myself, our children can and will overcome self-doubt.

Through this journey I recognized I created projects that in some way are a reflection of my personal experience.  In some way I believe I am speaking to the little girl inside me that was affected as a child.  I unconsciously focus my photography to represent raw and unaltered (without Photoshop) beauty.

Amber-17

I Am More Than My Hair: Bald and Beautiful MeThrough my photography I gave birth to photo books that celebrate the natural beauty of women and girls. The first being Feminine Transitions and my current project I Am More Than My Hair. In the near future my hope is to also create documentaries that reflect the same concept in a video format.

It’s a start on creating positive change and it’s a blessing for me to be a deliverer of a healing revolution.

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